CV and mad panic behaviour

[capcom]

Lost my mum at 53 ... man, that was tough.  Was in a very foul mood for months.

[cookie2]

Lost my mum at 53 ... man, that was tough.  Was in a very foul mood for months.

Feel for you mate. My dear and much loved mum went at 59 after a cruel battle with cancer. I was gutted, long story, and took a long time to recover. Life never really looked quite the same after that.

[Baggers]

EB1, mate, of little consequence but my heart goes out to you, Mrs EB1 and your brother-in-law & family. This is an extraordinarily unfair stress and pressure to be placed under... not only financially, but morally. Not to mention the psychological/emotional toll.

(Love the Italian quote from GTC about every home/family having its cross to bear. I'd take that a step further and suggest that every individual has her/his cross to bear. And only individual accountability and responsibility (which requires courage/honesty) will give us the clearest understanding of how best to deal with our troubles... because, for starters, we'll learn our part in our probs).

I can relate to your horror story, on a professional level, as I found myself on two separate occasions in the past few years embroiled in very near exactly the same situation. Both occasions they were Greek folks and both occasions there was a cultural expectation to bail out family who'd made poor business decisions or failed to have a plan B for tough times or built the business on vulnerable foundations. Amazing how some folks can start spending the money of the wealthier family member, a kind of entitlement, and it's exactly that attitude that got them into the cr@p in the first place. Both my clients were self made millionaires... their siblings/other family members, not so much. Let's not get into sibling competitiveness/jealousy/rivalry.

Long story short, both my clients were (and still are!!) ripper folks with loving hearts for other family members. And their loving hearts had been taken advantage of on a number of occasions. We devised an ethical strategy to give them the loan underpinned by accountability, honesty and responsibility... strings attached, strings that would teach them integrity and business acumen. I won't go into the details -- far too lengthy -- but suffice to say it was a strategy that gave repayment and responsibility and transparency the best chance. Then we sailed the expected rough seas of push-back, anger and guilt manipulation.

As I explained to the guys, people who get an easy bail-out cannot be relied upon for repayment and you're setting yourself up to be an easy target for their next financial failure. Accountability and responsibility (strings) ensured a line in the sand/very reasonable expectation. Give a person a fish... bla bla bla. And if they refuse the conditions of the loan... well, that's their decision.

EB1, if I can be of any help in this at all, please don't hesitate to PM me.

[capcom]

Feel for you mate. My dear and much loved mum went at 59 after a cruel battle with cancer. I was gutted, long story, and took a long time to recover. Life never really looked quite the same after that.

Never did to me [member=36]cookie2[/member] .. kissed her goodbye as I went off to work, 12 hours later, brain aneurysm. I was inconsolable.

[Baggers]

Lost my mum at 53 ... man, that was tough.  Was in a very foul mood for months.

Can relate CC old mate, lost my mum at 51. Bowel cancer. (think I've shared this before). A feisty, highly intelligent, red-head. That was 34 years ago and I still miss her to this day and chat to her regularly.

[ElwoodBlues1]

Feel for you mate. My dear and much loved mum went at 59 after a cruel battle with cancer. I was gutted, long story, and took a long time to recover. Life never really looked quite the same after that.

Lost my mum at 53 ... man, that was tough.  Was in a very foul mood for months.

@Cap and Cookie......sorry to hear about the early passing of your mothers, way too young. Mums get taken for granted sometimes and you really miss them when they have passed.

[capcom]

Can relate CC old mate, lost my mum at 51. Bowel cancer. (think I've shared this before). A feisty, highly intelligent, red-head. That was 34 years ago and I still miss her to this day and chat to her regularly.

Lost count of the number of times when I wondered a fast or a lingering passing would have been better.  40 years later, still no answer [member=61]Baggers[/member] ... but sincere thanks to all of you

[Baggers]

Lost count of the number of times when I wondered a fast or a lingering passing would have been better.  40 years later, still no answer [member=61]Baggers[/member] ... but sincere thanks to all of you

Gotta be honest mate, I wonder if any difference matters. We did get to say good-bye but witnessing the horrible decline and wasting of such passionate and beautiful person still haunts me. And even though we knew the end was coming, when it came it was a massive shock and a heart-wrenching loss, a void never to be filled. I felt the same with my dad only 8 months ago. Even though he was a pr1ck in so many ways, love looks beyond behaviour. I apologize for any sorrow indulgence or sanctimoniousness.

[Thryleon]

The last few posts hit a nerve with me.

We lost dad at 56.  He was unlucky.  Liver failure as a result of chemo that was to prep him for a bone marrow transplant.  Went from stabilizing red and white blood cell balance and generally looking all good with his chronic lymphocytic leukaemia to feeling like his insides and had been burnt, and subsequently hospitalised in two weeks.  Turns out a human can survive about a month total without a functioning liver. 

We carry a piece of our loved ones with us everywhere we go.  You don't get over it, you just get used to it is the best way to put it. 

[Milhanna13]

My old man was 75, and even that was too early.  Felt a little silly (and selfish, knowing others lost theirs much earlier) being a middle aged bloke, feeling sorry for himself that he lost his dad, but that’s how it felt and still does. 

Still, to this day (7 years later), reach for my phone to call him, when something happens with the Blues.  JSOS’ game in the ruck last week would’ve lead to a 20min phone call!!