I spent forty years working in the juvenile justice system.
Over that period of time I met countless parents.
The large majority of them appeared to be genuinely caring...but (judgmentally on my part) inadequate.
They appeared to lack the ability to make good judgements or establish boundaries and controls.
Often these meetings would also take place with a grandparent and you could see that the parents were unprepared largely because their own childhood had lacked that parental guidance.
Single parent families were also common and more often than not it was the mother who was left to raise the child...in such cases the father had often been abusive to both mother and children.
Poverty or living on the fringe, which often accompanied such family breakups, contributed to the pressures on parents.
Without strong parental influences in their lives kids turn to peer groups which provide a more positive atmosphere of acceptance....but not necessarily of behaviour.
So that's basically your foundation for building a young offender.
Yes, there were kids who were off the rails despite having stronger family backgrounds and siblings who were never in trouble.
In most cases these were the result of a mental condition... maybe not an obvious one, but there all the same.
Just taking the mental condition aspect out of it for a second...Elder children will often be the more difficult because they're the "first attempt". Folks learn from their mistakes with subsequent kids. They're also born at a time when parents are still establishing themselves so attention is often on other things like careers, buying a home, change of lifestyle created by the new baby. As for the youngest ones...they're just bad eggs ;D
Over that period of time I met countless parents.
The large majority of them appeared to be genuinely caring...but (judgmentally on my part) inadequate.
They appeared to lack the ability to make good judgements or establish boundaries and controls.
Often these meetings would also take place with a grandparent and you could see that the parents were unprepared largely because their own childhood had lacked that parental guidance.
Single parent families were also common and more often than not it was the mother who was left to raise the child...in such cases the father had often been abusive to both mother and children.
Poverty or living on the fringe, which often accompanied such family breakups, contributed to the pressures on parents.
Without strong parental influences in their lives kids turn to peer groups which provide a more positive atmosphere of acceptance....but not necessarily of behaviour.
So that's basically your foundation for building a young offender.
Yes, there were kids who were off the rails despite having stronger family backgrounds and siblings who were never in trouble.
In most cases these were the result of a mental condition... maybe not an obvious one, but there all the same.
(02-01-2017, 11:01 PM)Thryleon link Wrote:I'm trying to understand something here, and I cannot figure out for the life of me why some people proceed through life one way yet their siblings go a completely different route and sure there are learning components for parenting in the process as the very few examples I can show you are the eldest children being the ones who stuff up more, yet in one family, 4 kids, we have the eldest and youngest both being terrors and the middle children being "good" kids, which makes me wonder if they are not shaped more by their experiences with their peers than the parenting.
Just taking the mental condition aspect out of it for a second...Elder children will often be the more difficult because they're the "first attempt". Folks learn from their mistakes with subsequent kids. They're also born at a time when parents are still establishing themselves so attention is often on other things like careers, buying a home, change of lifestyle created by the new baby. As for the youngest ones...they're just bad eggs ;D