Thank you Mantis.
That explains in perfect detail the complexity of the emotions involved in domestic violence situations. There's the physical aspect, the emotional impact, the financial impact and the changes in relationships as people age. Change is possible but sadly probably very, very rare.
Can it be real change?
For some abusers the loss of family and the financial burden, would no doubt be seen by them as 'what their behaviour has cost them'....for others it can be a trigger to anger and a more violent, even deadly response.
My own father had his demons. Nothing approaching the abuse of Mantis's father, never anything physical. but he was a POW in Changi and on the railroad, and like many from that generation who suffered from issues such as alcohol abuse, gambling, and importantly mental health issues he was left with scars that impacted on our family. My sister once said he was a better grandfather than he was a father and that was true.
Forgiveness... to someone who has wronged you and your family because of a bond, even a kind of love for a person who has caused you much pain... It's conflicting and hard, almost impossible, to understand for anyone who hasn't experienced it.
It's funny, but true, that maybe the best healing comes from talking about it, or as Mantis has done writing it down. These are the stories that should form the basis of discussion and education.
Everyone's story has a similarity in the abuse but everyone's story is different, and the outcomes sometimes vastly different.
Best wishes for the future Mantis
'
That explains in perfect detail the complexity of the emotions involved in domestic violence situations. There's the physical aspect, the emotional impact, the financial impact and the changes in relationships as people age. Change is possible but sadly probably very, very rare.
Can it be real change?
For some abusers the loss of family and the financial burden, would no doubt be seen by them as 'what their behaviour has cost them'....for others it can be a trigger to anger and a more violent, even deadly response.
My own father had his demons. Nothing approaching the abuse of Mantis's father, never anything physical. but he was a POW in Changi and on the railroad, and like many from that generation who suffered from issues such as alcohol abuse, gambling, and importantly mental health issues he was left with scars that impacted on our family. My sister once said he was a better grandfather than he was a father and that was true.
Forgiveness... to someone who has wronged you and your family because of a bond, even a kind of love for a person who has caused you much pain... It's conflicting and hard, almost impossible, to understand for anyone who hasn't experienced it.
It's funny, but true, that maybe the best healing comes from talking about it, or as Mantis has done writing it down. These are the stories that should form the basis of discussion and education.
Everyone's story has a similarity in the abuse but everyone's story is different, and the outcomes sometimes vastly different.
Best wishes for the future Mantis
'