General Discussions

[capcom]

Every time a colleagued gets offed by Mini Me the surviving staff get a still kicking medal, they have a lot more than they can actually wear! :o

If one could be bothered ....

1. Attentiveness Award—this award is for listening to the Supreme Leader for numerous hours. Failure to stay awake can lead to death.

2. North Korean Competence Award—this award in for appearing capable in performing your duties. Failure to appear competent can lead to death.

3. Partners in Peace Award—this popular award is given to those who had any contact with Denis Rodman while he was in North Korea during several trips.

4. North Korean Brazen Bull Award—this award is for general officers who have expressed interest and zeal for the Chicago Bulls (see above).

5. Kim Jong-II Choo-Choo Award—This award was for senior officers that accompanied him on train trips as he had a fear of flying and refused to fly. 

6. The Brilliant Leader Worship Award—Kim Jung-un is referred to as the Brilliant Leader and surrounds himself with a large litany of yes-men dedicated to boosting his ego. Those who come up with the most creative compliments and praises are able to win this award. Sometimes called the “Whose Your Daddy Award” but very coveted.

7. Supreme Gulag Award—officers affiliated with the countries massive gulag system where 200,000 North Koreans are imprisoned for dissent, etc. are eligible for this award.

8. Amazing Execution Award—this little known award is given to military officers who come up with interesting and creative ways to execute North Koreans. It has also been awarded to those who participate in these bizarre executions.

9. Eating Well Award—this award is for securing better rations than the rank and file soldiers. This award is awarded for every three years of prosperity in food consumption while the remainder of the military forces starve.

10. Heavenly Cow Award—this award was for all military officers that would also partake of Kim Jung-II’s favorite meat, the donkey. Also referred to as “Jackass Tu” award.

11. It's a Family Affair Award--this award is for family members only who can survive his wrath. For example, his uncle, Jang Song Thaek, who was second-in-command was found guilty of “attempting to overthrow the state.” And so, if reports are to be believed, Kim Jong-un had him executed. His uncle was apparently first stripped naked and then thrown into a cage of ravenous dogs that finished the human off.