08-06-2021, 08:58 AM
EB1, mate, of little consequence but my heart goes out to you, Mrs EB1 and your brother-in-law & family. This is an extraordinarily unfair stress and pressure to be placed under... not only financially, but morally. Not to mention the psychological/emotional toll.
(Love the Italian quote from GTC about every home/family having its cross to bear. I'd take that a step further and suggest that every individual has her/his cross to bear. And only individual accountability and responsibility (which requires courage/honesty) will give us the clearest understanding of how best to deal with our troubles... because, for starters, we'll learn our part in our probs).
I can relate to your horror story, on a professional level, as I found myself on two separate occasions in the past few years embroiled in very near exactly the same situation. Both occasions they were Greek folks and both occasions there was a cultural expectation to bail out family who'd made poor business decisions or failed to have a plan B for tough times or built the business on vulnerable foundations. Amazing how some folks can start spending the money of the wealthier family member, a kind of entitlement, and it's exactly that attitude that got them into the cr@p in the first place. Both my clients were self made millionaires... their siblings/other family members, not so much. Let's not get into sibling competitiveness/jealousy/rivalry.
Long story short, both my clients were (and still are!!) ripper folks with loving hearts for other family members. And their loving hearts had been taken advantage of on a number of occasions. We devised an ethical strategy to give them the loan underpinned by accountability, honesty and responsibility... strings attached, strings that would teach them integrity and business acumen. I won't go into the details -- far too lengthy -- but suffice to say it was a strategy that gave repayment and responsibility and transparency the best chance. Then we sailed the expected rough seas of push-back, anger and guilt manipulation.
As I explained to the guys, people who get an easy bail-out cannot be relied upon for repayment and you're setting yourself up to be an easy target for their next financial failure. Accountability and responsibility (strings) ensured a line in the sand/very reasonable expectation. Give a person a fish... bla bla bla. And if they refuse the conditions of the loan... well, that's their decision.
EB1, if I can be of any help in this at all, please don't hesitate to PM me.
(Love the Italian quote from GTC about every home/family having its cross to bear. I'd take that a step further and suggest that every individual has her/his cross to bear. And only individual accountability and responsibility (which requires courage/honesty) will give us the clearest understanding of how best to deal with our troubles... because, for starters, we'll learn our part in our probs).
I can relate to your horror story, on a professional level, as I found myself on two separate occasions in the past few years embroiled in very near exactly the same situation. Both occasions they were Greek folks and both occasions there was a cultural expectation to bail out family who'd made poor business decisions or failed to have a plan B for tough times or built the business on vulnerable foundations. Amazing how some folks can start spending the money of the wealthier family member, a kind of entitlement, and it's exactly that attitude that got them into the cr@p in the first place. Both my clients were self made millionaires... their siblings/other family members, not so much. Let's not get into sibling competitiveness/jealousy/rivalry.
Long story short, both my clients were (and still are!!) ripper folks with loving hearts for other family members. And their loving hearts had been taken advantage of on a number of occasions. We devised an ethical strategy to give them the loan underpinned by accountability, honesty and responsibility... strings attached, strings that would teach them integrity and business acumen. I won't go into the details -- far too lengthy -- but suffice to say it was a strategy that gave repayment and responsibility and transparency the best chance. Then we sailed the expected rough seas of push-back, anger and guilt manipulation.
As I explained to the guys, people who get an easy bail-out cannot be relied upon for repayment and you're setting yourself up to be an easy target for their next financial failure. Accountability and responsibility (strings) ensured a line in the sand/very reasonable expectation. Give a person a fish... bla bla bla. And if they refuse the conditions of the loan... well, that's their decision.
EB1, if I can be of any help in this at all, please don't hesitate to PM me.
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17